Tbird Founder HadIt.com Veteran To Veteran LLC

Tbird Founder HadIt.com Social RebelMouse

My Journey To Get A PTSD Service Dog

I've been on the waiting list for almost 2 years and they say all good things come to those who wait and the time has finally come.

Yesterday Feb 4 2013 was my first day of training and I met my dog. She is beautiful and very smart, she wagged her tail the whole time I was with her and she seemed very happy with me and I am happy with her.

She is a Golden Retriever/Labrador Retriever mix and she is coal black, sweet face and her name is Cinder! I am going to get a picture of her today and I will post it. We worked a little with our dogs yesterday and met them for the first time. This week and next is filled with lectures and training, training is for me, Cinder knows everything already :) She gave me kisses and I just melted.

The combination of the labrador/golden is perfect for me I am only 5" tall and I needed her for balance also. So the dog had to be just the right height and my baby girl is perfect. I've done some reading and this mix is being bred specifically to be service dogs, sort of the best of both breeds. She is calm and eager to please and enjoys her work.

I went through Support Dogs, Inc. Check them out a wonderful group of folks. They couldn't be any nicer or helpful. Now putting Cinder aside for a moment, let me tell you about the other folks in the class one little girl 7years old was born in India with her legs on backwards, her mom and dad had a heck of a time adopting her and getting her here from India and then one doctor wanted to amputate her legs, but they found another doctor and after many surgeries her legs have been reattached correctly, all her bones grow wrong, but let me tell you nothing stops this little girl she is face first into life and moves faster with her walker than I do without one :) She got a chocolate lab name Stover and she calls him her chocolate boy she is very sweet. Then there is another little boy who got a Golden named Wonka, he has spina bifada and he is quite sweet and a little quiet, but when Wonka came out I am telling you the smile on his face was so big, you just had to smile along with him. His step dad was with him and he is an Iraq Marine Veteran been out about 2 years and having trouble getting help with his issues. So I told him about our site and plan on talking more with him each day.

When at my lowest, the best thing I did for myself was become grateful.

When at my lowest, the best thing I did for myself was become grateful. I would find one thing to be grateful for each day.

Grateful that I found a good size cigarette butt in a VA ashtray.

Grateful that there was an extra roll of toilet paper I could swipe.

Grateful that I had a roof over my head.

Grateful I had a door and a lock.

It wasn't easy, but it wasn't impossible and I truly believe that it made me a better person, and enriched my relationships with other people.

During those low years I practiced savoring moments and trying to commit them to memory, because those moments are fleeting and when down, out and alone I could pull those memories up and put myself inside them.

Don't get me wrong my PTSD was new to me and I was raging and flashing back and fighting the suicide whisper and all the other ugliness that it brings. I just made sure to take a moment and think of something I was grateful for, even if I wasn't feeling it, I did it anyway.

PTSD And That Nagging 1/10th

PTSD And That Nagging 1/10^th

  I have been 99.99% sure about things I’ve been 100% wrong about, much to my detriment. That 1/10^th has caused me numerous problems, I just can’t trust anything or anyone the way they feel they should be trusted and it hurts them and it hurts me.


Though perhaps statistically insignificant, it can devastate a persons life. Relationships fail, family ties weaken and even going to a therapist can be difficult. Trust is a major issue and I can get 99.99% sure about something, but I have to ramp up to it. So going to a new therapist it may take me 6 months or more to get to the 99.99%, which just really hurts me. I would like to be different, but now it’s just sort of like having green eyes, wish they were blue, but no amount of wishing, pills, therapy, or whatever is going to make them blue. So 99.99% is about the best I can do and for many relationships that’s just not enough.

Operating My IPod After Taking My Anxiety Meds

Background: So last night sleep was a bit fleeting and had a bit of the heebie-jeebies all night, don't know why and frankly I don't really care at this particular point in time.

So after giving up on sleep after several hours, I decided anxiety medication was required which I took as prescribed. I put my headset's on and started blasting "Magic Carpet Ride". 

So I am walking around and the anxiety is lifting and the song is playing and I think boy this song is longer than I remember and I continue on to my computer. I check some emails and I am noticing that I am anxiety free and very tired and wow that song is still playing. No that can't be right and sure enough I had it set to loop, I don't know how many times I listened to that song before I noticed it. Dopey Me, ahhh. At least I got a laugh out of it, hope you did too!

Why Your Mistakes In Your VA Claim Are A Win For Many

So you made a mistake when you filed your claim. That sucks. I've done it. But, does it really suck, I think not. With the http://www.hadit.com/forums you can let others know what not to do and believe me that is an invaluable to the veteran going through what you already have.

Even negative things can have a positive effect. If you can share your story and it helps one veteran not make the same mistake, then that is a priceless gift you have given to a brother or sister veteran.